My host brother in the village of Seleteng is, simply put, a character. The tales that I have related to fellow volunteers keep increasing in number. I finally have realized that some of these tales cannot remain exclusively oral and I must document some of his more memorable idiosyncrasies.
His name is Mamakgeme and for anyone interested his name is pronounced something like “Mama Hemm Ay” except there is supposed to be a throaty-phlegmy rumble with the “h” in “hem” (think of Fat Albert saying “Hey, hey, hey”). His two “Christian” names are Conrad and Joy but I don’t know anyone who refers to him using either of those and he doesn’t like them to be used so I stick with Mamakgeme. Much more unique anyway. Mamakgeme is 30 years old and married with a 20 month old son. He moved back home to Seleteng from Johannesburg when his wife, Karabo, was pregnant with their son Bahumi. Currently he is helping his mother run the Drop-In Center for orphaned and vulnerable children here in village of Seleteng while Karabo finishes some computer studies in the relatively nearby city of Polokwane. He has a university degree (in what, I’m not quite sure) and has worked in the private industry in the city and plans to return to Jo’berg within the year with Karabo and Bahumi. Mamakgeme speaks English quite well. In fact, I would say that there is no difficulty understanding his spoken English though it is clear that it is his 2nd language (A fact that is readily apparent in his written English) and he has a pronounced accent which makes the stories below often a bit more entertaining (especially the snake/camera tale below). He is a somewhat large man who often sports a moustache and shaved head. I have heard him described by another volunteer as “that handsome son of Mae’s at your house with a gentle face.” Mamakgeme is a truly generous, patient, intelligent, and amusing friend and one of my very favorite people in South Africa. He also happens to be quite eccentric.
The first time I remember thinking Mamakgeme was a bit, unusual, was following the ‘family coming-together’ ceremony which occurred around October of 2008 (the blog entry entitled “Scotch & Goat” explains that event in slightly more detail). When we walked home from the ceremony late in the afternoon, we passed a large aloe plant growing next to the dirt road. He stopped and said “ooh, what a nice specimen. I will come back this evening and collect some leaves.” I asked him for what and he said “for medicine. I am a medicine man, man.” Sure enough, later that evening after dinner, I was helping Jerminah wash dishes in the kitchen and in pops Mamakgeme with a silver pail from which two large “leaves” (spiky stalks) of aloe plant protruded. He set the pail down and grabbed a small spoon. I watched him out of the corner of my eye as he tilted the pail and fiddled the spoon between the stalks of aloe. “Now the moment of truth” he announced as he held the spoon up to his mouth. He swallowed the spoon’s juices and made one of the most wretched faces I ever recall having seen. His eyes squinted shut and his entire face puckered inward. I laughed in a bit of amazement. He said “that stuff tastes horrible!” He then added, “But ahh, it’s full of antioxidants.” Rather than be repulsed as I later realized I should have been, I found myself intrigued. I asked him if I could have a spoonful of the green goo. “Yes, of course” he said and promptly produced a liquid helping for me. I gave him a look that intended to relate that I was aware I was doing something regretful (so as to somehow rationalize my undertaking in the ‘medicine’) and swallowed the goop. Instantly, the bitter metallic awfulness seized my mouth. I squirmed and my mouth writhed. “Oh my God! I think that is the worst thing I have ever tried!” (I actually thought, and still think, it was. Or at least in the top 3). I ran out of the kitchen and grabbed my water bottle and rinsed. Then I brushed my teeth. Then I took a Listerine strip. Then I took a 2nd Listerine strip. The bitterness was still there. From the kitchen I could hear Mamakgeme laughing.
Continuing on the “medicine man” tip, Mamakgeme has, upon several occasions, announced his desire to run a homemade herbal/medicine business. He boils roots, leaves, seeds, brine, fruit peels, fruit rinds, bark, and eggs making various teas and potions. (Some of these are, admittedly, quite tasty). He enjoys relating how someone in the village once suffered from something akin to appendicitis which was not relieved following a visit to a town doctor and the city hospital. Mamakgeme made him a concoction of god-knows-what and the man felt better within an hour and the pain never recurred. Other than this isolated incident, I am not familiar with the success rate of his creations. He is fascinated with the multi-vitamins and fiber pills that I brought from the states. One afternoon he asked me about how Google makes money on the Internet. I explained the ad-revenues, company payments for top search returns based on key words, Google directed click counts, etc. He then asked if he were to start an online business selling his “medicines” could he pay Google to have his company come up when people typed in different ailments. I tried to explain the intricacies, expenses, and difficulties associated with said venture without directly tearing down his ambitions. After announcing that if his yet-to-be-created “company” were to find the cure for HIV/AIDS, his yet-to-be-created website would surely receive a lot of hits from Google, he suddenly had an epiphany and said “I bet I could make money on the Internet from porn.” I stopped and looked at him a bit stunned. With Karabo, his wife, sitting next to him he went on to ask “does anyone make money on the Internet from porn?” He was smiling as he asked me but was entirely serious. I stammered and said “sure.” He then said “I bet a lot of people would pay for that stuff.” For the sake of conversation, I tried to sustain just a hint of seriousness in the midst of what I felt was an increasingly and alarmingly ridiculous discussion and said “they sure would, but there is a lot of free porn too.” His only response was “I would like to start a business and make money online.” He then added “not necessarily with porn.” Much to my surprise and perhaps due to conditioning, Karabo never looked up from the paper she was reading during the entire course of our conversation. She must be simply accustomed to his exceedingly whimsical ponderings.
During a much-anticipated and meticulously planned ceremony honoring the community elderly at the aforementioned Drop In Center this past October, a snake rudely interrupted the proceedings. Or rather, the children attending the event allowed the snake to interrupt the proceedings. The snake was minding its own business hanging from a nearby tree when it was spotted by a young ceremony-attendee. Quickly, the children (as well as a few younger adults) flocked over to the tree with an intrigued glee. A mamba! A crowd nearing 50 or so eventually convened around the tree and I decided that I myself would go visit the tree as its not often I get to see an African snake in the wild. As I walked over, I noticed that an adventurous (and rather mischievous) adolescent boy had momentarily “captured” the snake on a stick. The snake was writhing around on the stick as the boy held the stick out in front of him. (Of course it was the snake that was doing the entertaining but the boy clearly loved the attention coming his way). As I approached and heads turned with a few muddled chants of “lekgowa” (white person), the snake-curling young lad turned the stick toward me and stuck it out in an attempt to either scare me or make the onlookers more entertained (or both). I smiled and simply watched. After I finished viewing the snake I decided to return to my seat to watch the remainder of the ceremony. Once I had reached my seat, I noticed that Mamakgeme was strutting over to the snake-ogling crowd. I say strutting because he was clearly walking in stride. He looked as though he was on a defined mission. He would later tell me that the crowd was taking too much attention away from the planned ceremony and therefore must b e “attended to.” As he strutted, his shoulders dipped alternately. Immediately upon reaching the crowd, he stuck out his hand for the boy to give him the stick with the snake. The boy acquiesced both disappointedly and immediately as if he had been caught by a school principal. Mamakgeme then walked to the fence surrounding the Drop In Center and launched the snake over the fence. As its body coiled in the air Mamakgeme calmly laid down the stick and turned toward his seat. I don’t believe he had spoken a word during his entire mission of ousting the snake. The other volunteers and I had watched the entire series of events transpire and when Mamakgeme passed us, he looked over at us and winked. He actually winked. And didn’t break his stride. One of the other volunteers was so entertained with Mamakgeme’s actions that she motioned for him to come over to us. He walked over and asked to look at my camera to see the pictures I had taken thus far of the event (he is infinitely intrigued with the camera). He then encouraged us to come together for a photograph which we did. As we cheesed it up for the camera, Mamakgeme uninhibitedly announced, “Say shit.” We all laughed and smiles were easy. Clearly much more effective than “cheese.”
Of course there are other tales and the little ones are fun too. For instance, Mamakgeme is oddly obsessed with both Phil Collins and Abba. I have awoken to him blasting “Take a Chance on Me” for himself, his family, and the surrounding neighborhood. He has, more than once, told me that “Phil Collins is the bomb” and if I were to hear his album, ‘But Seriously,’ it “would rock my world so much that I wouldn’t believe it. Especially the guitars on it. ” And of course, there are the little one-liners such as “Andrew, I’m nude man!” (In response to my seeing him naked as he inexplicitly stood with the door wide open in the middle of the day), or “this grass smells like malted barley. Like a good beer. But these days I prefer a dry red wine over beer” or “do you eat pig’s heads in the United States? Ooh, they are a delicacy here.” He once wondered if the US Embassy “scans your stomach when you enter to tell you whether you had bacon for breakfast.”
As I reflect on the fun I have had with Mamakgeme understanding some of the South African culture and answering his endless curiosities about American culture, I am assured that the tales will continue. For those volunteers who have been lucky enough to spend any amount of time with Mamakgeme, they share in my enthusiasm for his quirkiness. A quirkiness which would be powerless and dull if it was not paired with a warmth, curiosity, and friendliness that is incredibly refreshing. Mamakgeme is definitely a person who possesses a personality accurately described as indelible.